producing porn for character development ★
how 5 years in the industry actually made me a better human
Butterflies fill my stomach as I parallel park my hybrid hatchback in front of a modern nondescript apartment building somewhere just north of Miami. The bassline of Doja Cat’s “Streets” thumps from the 18s in my trunk, the rhythm vibrating through my torso in attempts to replace the lingering feelings of nervousness with pure excitement and focus.
It’s the summer of 2021 and at this point I’m almost two years into adult entertainment. Not a total newbie, but I’m still new enough to make some rookie mistakes. Like overvaluing star power or assuming name recognition automatically means a better shoot, and keeping my guard down about genuine brand compatibility as a result. “It’s Jax Slayher,” I thought to myself leading up to this shoot “an on camera collaboration with such a big name is destined to be a pure professional win-win!”
At the time, it felt like a sure win. In hindsight though, it was one of my biggest teachers.
The experience itself wasn’t all that savory (men who skip foreplay are losers after all!). But I did walk away with something that I didn’t really expect; an abundance of clarity that almost felt like the beginning of a paradigm shift within me.
Over the next three years, porn would teach me so much more about love, energy work, authenticity, and human connection than I ever thought it could.
Watch and listen to the rest of my story, how professionally creating porn helped me become more human, in the 7 minute visual piece below…
★ ★ ★
My time as a porn producer/performer had a profound impact on my development through young adulthood and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. It granted me space to explore, grow, and learn in ways I couldn’t have imagined. As I’ve continued to evolve though, I’m also grateful that I stepped away and retired when I did (going on two and a half years ago now).
Maybe one day I’ll share more about my decision to hang up my proverbial jersey, but truth be told, five years in the industry was enough for me (even though I once planned to stay for ten lol). I’m so proud of the work I created during that time, and just as proud of myself for recognizing when it was time to move forward.
I’m still deeply passionate about the many ways sexual energy moves through us humans and through the world around us. There’s an incredible amount of poetry in its eroticism, intimacy, sensuality, and sacredness. There’s still so much to sit with.
I’ve put in my hours as a visual erotic artist. I’ve gained so much from what my time in the industry revealed to me - both about myself and the world - behind the scenes. Now, I feel more than ready to deepen and refine my focus on exploring the dimensions of sex and sexual energy that aren’t so immediately visible - this time, in a more communal and shared way.
★ What does it look (and feel) like to make the most of one’s sexual energy as an individual?
★ Where can that energy live beyond sex itself, and how can it be channeled into a fuller, more expansive way of living?
★ If sexual energy is like a fire within us, how do we tend to it with care (keeping it warm, alive, and sustaining), without letting it consume us?
★ How do we protect something so powerful without closing ourselves off from the very experiences that allow it to deepen, evolve, and teach us?
★ And what becomes possible when we decide not to reduce sexual energy to solely a performance or release and also start relating to it as a source of creativity, intuition, connection, and life force?
Word to sexual and erotic maturation.
I hope you’re gooned out enough to join me on this journey but not too gooned out to miss its gems. Word to balance.
- con amor <3